Let’s be motivated by love, not fear!

by Mark Pavilons

Fear is a great motivator in our western employment economy.

But love is greater.

My friend, an entrepreneur who’s motivated by love and caring with his employees, works by that rule.

And he sees amazing results. He’s head of a sales team, but unlike most managers, he has their backs, believes in more than numbers, and motivates them by being genuine.

This style seems obvious, and easy, yet how many managers/owners practice it?

Sure, he’s still human, but he stresses that love is his “currency.” He hopes others experience something different, even profound, from him.

How wonderful it is to exude such passion, comfort, and yes love.

The pace of any journey becomes quicker when you grab hold of something, believe deeply in it, and use it to propel you. The early part of the journey is learning and understanding.

We are not given the answers in life and maybe we’re not meant to know. We learn by doing.

But if we just look at the world around us, miracles abound. To that, there is no question.

Each sunrise, every wave in the ocean, and each unique bird call, are messages. It’s like a textbook of existence – hey are the answers. We just need to know what questions to ask.

Maybe we do have a “guide,” in life. It could be in the form of self-help programs, natural diets, religious scriptures, or even professional group settings.

These are all tools to allow us to dig deep and really find ourselves. It’s there, inside us. I also firmly believe that everyone is good inside, and that everyone wants to excel – in their relationships, families and careers.

As our strongest emotions, love, affection and caring can definitely not only spark a sense of purpose within ourselves, but inside others, too. When we’re motivated by love, we’re not driven by external influences, but rather a sense of connection and fulfillment. We all know that love can put that certain spring in our steps, so it’s no wonder it can launch us toward our goals.

Research has shown that feeling loved and connected to others can increase dopamine levels and other feel-good chemicals in the brain, boosting mood, energy, and motivation. When you are motivated by love, you are more likely to be persistent in facing challenges and setbacks and have a greater sense of self-efficacy and confidence in your abilities.

According to Jessica Koehler Ph.D. (Psychology Today article), studies have shown that love and social bonds have a profound impact on our physical and mental health. A meta-analysis of 148 studies found that individuals with stronger social relationships had a 50 per cent increased likelihood of survival, suggesting the importance of social bonds. Other research highlights how positive marital relationships can lead to lower stress levels, better immune function, and lower risks of chronic illnesses. The release of oxytocin, a hormone often referred to as the “cuddle chemical,” plays a pivotal role in promoting feelings of warmth, trust, and security during positive social interactions. This documented effect of oxytocin highlights its critical role in fostering well-being and deepening social bonds.

She urges us to consider the simple yet powerful act of hugging someone you care about. It’s more than just a gesture – it’s a way of expressing love that has measurable effects on our health. Hugging can lower blood pressure, reduce stress, and even boost our immune system. Think about the last time you were upset and received a comforting hug – it likely made you feel better almost instantly. That’s love at work, creating a sense of safety and support.

I’m a hugger, I admit it, After an event, pleasant encounter or lunch with a friend (males, too) I tend to hug them. I believe it shows that my appreciation for them is genuine. I wear my emotions on my sleeve as it were. I tell my friends that I love them.

Love acts as a protective shield against depression, anxiety, and various other mental health challenges. When we feel loved, our self-esteem is elevated, we adopt a more positive outlook on life, and we find a deeper sense of purpose. On the other hand, the absence of love can lead to feelings of isolation, worthlessness, and despair.

I will admit that our society is working overtime, trying to find that love-hate balance.

Hate, anger, frustration and uncertainty are fueling us these days, given the political unrest here in North America and around the world. It’s much easier to show hate and anger than to exude love.

Getting into heated arguments with people in person, or online, is a waste of energy. Does a difference of opinion in U.S. politics really matter in our daily lives? Should political protests, on behalf of one group or another, split us apart?

We have been espousing the sentiment, “can’t we all just get along,” since the 1960s.

It seems to me we haven’t moved that needle very far at all.

The Beatles, in 1967, reached millions by singing “It’s easy … All you need is love … love is all you need.”

And I’m not sure why. Today, we’re better off in many ways in terms of finances, economics, medical advances and available knowledge at our fingertips. With all that, why are we not smarter, more aware, and behaving better?

Why are we still giving in to fear, hate and animosity, when love is really the way to go?

I’m not suggesting we all gather in circle, join hands and sing. We use the term “kumbaya” disparagingly and in jest, when its original intention was quite spiritual.

Kumbaya has become a signal of idealism and “touchy-feely” unity.

But what’s wrong with that?

Maybe that’s why we’re in the predicament we’re in.

The day we ripped our children out of that circle and filled their heads with hate is the day we tore the fabric of society apart.

I will join hands with, and hug anyone who wants to!